Sunday, February 10, 2013

Stay-At-Home Motherhood

Okay so this is coming a bit out of left field, I know, which is why I'm not publishing at date of writing... 07.02.2013. I'm going to sit on it and see if I still want this out there. Firstly I would just like to say to anyone who may have found this blog from a google search, this is not tips or my experience as a SAHMom, sorry. This is a somewhat personal reflection on the desire to be a SAHMom and a Mom in general.

I am 31 years of age, I've been happily married for three years and I've known my husband for about 6 and a half years... so we dated for approx. 3 and a half years. Anyone who has read my blog previously will know that I'm baby crazy, and that I've been struggling with my desires to be a mother for a while. Well its been a year, or there abouts and I'm still struggling with my feelings of being a mother. Of late I've found myself considering what it takes to be a SAHMom, I've since my last blog on the subject changed my work situation, which though still unstable is on the road to a more permanent situation. I'm also studying Childcare, which is very interesting and that I really am enjoying. Perhaps its this that has got me thinking about my own future children and sending them/or not into the childcare system. I was raised in another time, when nurseries and kindergardens where things for people with money and since my parents weren't well of I was raised by my parents at home. I was sent to school and then later, due to sickness, home-schooled. I spent most of my childhood in the company of adults, of my parents. I've always felt that this was a much more natural approach to child-rearing. So its natural, that I would want to be a SAHMom, that I might want to home-school my children, at least through preschool and junior school. We live in a society that due to financial difficulties, career opportunities and lifestyle choices demands some sort of childcare system. But I've seen friends, women who have to work a full-time job to help their families survive and have had to send their young children to a nursery/preschool break their hearts because they can't see their children grow up. They wake them up, take them to preschool, work a full day in an office and then pick up their children at the end of the day, feed them and put them to bed. Childhood is a fleeting and precious thing and no woman... scratch that... NO ONE wants to miss their child's developement into young adults. It goes against everything nature dictates, everything God dictates to us to have to let someone else raise our children, yet in this day and age, when women can have it all, a family and a career, when the economy demands two full time wages to pay for food for a growing family we have little to no choice. Unless we are either willing to sacrifice a career or cut back expenses and sometimes the later is just not feasible. So with all of this milling around in my head I've begun to wonder how can I be a stay at home mother? How will we be able to afford one less full-time paycheck a month? But those are questions I will not be able to answer until the time comes and it really comes down to the question of what am I willing to do without to see my child grow, develope and mature. These are questions that all women, I'm sure ask themselves at one point or another, and thankfully enough I'm sufficiently baby and motherhood obsessed to ask them now, before there is even a glimmer of a child on my horizon. So even though I may not be able to answer the above questions, I can answer this, and as any mother will tell you, I would be willing to sacrifice any amount at all, any thing to be able to give my child the best childhood available, and for my part I believe that has alot to do with being with your child as much time as humanly possible. So that means I will work a little as possible on a secular basis, so that I can dedicate as much of my time to my future child, when he or she arrives. I want to remember how hard it was to feel that empty space, when there was no beloved offspring, I want to remember and record that, so that when the day eventually arrives I can absorb all of the joy and beauty and wonderment. Adieu my readers, adieu and av revior!